Patient Impatience
There is the oxymoron of the year!! I spend so much time praying for patience, sometimes it almost seems trivial. In the end, I just want N here ASAP!! As I watch friends and family having their babies in 9 months it hardly seems fair that we have to wait over a year for a baby we chose in February!!! But, so is the adoption journey. God has perfect timing, right? I must tell myself that 500 times a day. It keeps me at peace for awhile, them I see a small child, or even worse a small Down Syndome child and the excitement gets the better of me again. I usually try to put a verse with my post, but I am on my phone and I keep losing the post of I go out of the app, so I will include a verse next time!!! As Jesus told us to do, "Protect the Fatherless and the Widows."
Adoption is no accident...
But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children. And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “Abba, Father.” Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir. (Galatians 4:4-7 NLT)
This verse was brought up by Beth Moore in a study I am doing right now and it has been ringing through my ears (along with that stupid fox song), ever since she talked about it. Her comment was basically that God chose us and adopted us into His family by sending Jesus to die on the cross and forgive our sins. God CHOSE us to be his children. He ADOPTED us into His family for His good. To be His heir. Many women say they became pregnant "by accident", but has anyone ever adopted "by accident"? I am pretty confident that the answer is no. This is not a process for the faint of heart. Every aspect of your life is documented and closely examined. You have to open up your feelings, your story in Christ, your home to judgement as to whether you can parent another child. We are so blessed with family, friends, and a church that has vouched for us, that we are capable to love another child (with special needs even!). I praise God for all the signs and for the courage to go through with all this!
We are getting so close to our first trip. I just found out our Dossier (packet of applications) has been sent to B!!!! All we need is for them to get it, approve it, and give us a travel date to go see her!!! It is surreal to think how close we are! I have relied on God to keep me patient and I will continue, but I am so excited to meet this little girl I have been staring at pictures of for almost 8 months!
Please keep prayers coming for us, especially financially, as this is getting expensive!! She is well worth every dime!
So here we wait
I have been negligent of my blog because it seems to me there has been nothing to write. Here we are three months later and we are pretty much in the same spot. Not our fault. Our social worker was surprised at how difficult the wording is for a B Home Study. So she is going back and forth with our agency and getting it perfect so that there will be no problems when we send the finalized copy to B. It is frustrating, since we have done our part and there is nothing we can do, or turn in, to make this go faster. My best uneducated guess is that we are within two months of going to visit and then will go back to pick her up, as our daughter (officially), in about 6 months. That seems forever.
I know I have said so many times how God has brought people into our lives just for N and I have another story on that premise. We live in a small neighborhood of about thirty houses. And in a huge school district of which I am pretty involved. I was helping at registration when a lady came up with a stroller and a baby boy inside that clearly has DS! Of course I inquired about him!! I thought, how great to know that someone in the school would also have a DS child starting a little behind N!! Well, as it turns out the Mom, Lisa, is also a speech therapist, even better!!! After we exchanged info I got back to my job! A couple minutes later as I was running around my neighbor stopped me and said, "Hey, I want to introduce you to our new neighbors." You get one guess who it was....
God is good, and He will not lead you blindly, He will not forsake you, He will give you everything you need when you follow His call.....
Bless you all friends!!!
I know I have said so many times how God has brought people into our lives just for N and I have another story on that premise. We live in a small neighborhood of about thirty houses. And in a huge school district of which I am pretty involved. I was helping at registration when a lady came up with a stroller and a baby boy inside that clearly has DS! Of course I inquired about him!! I thought, how great to know that someone in the school would also have a DS child starting a little behind N!! Well, as it turns out the Mom, Lisa, is also a speech therapist, even better!!! After we exchanged info I got back to my job! A couple minutes later as I was running around my neighbor stopped me and said, "Hey, I want to introduce you to our new neighbors." You get one guess who it was....
God is good, and He will not lead you blindly, He will not forsake you, He will give you everything you need when you follow His call.....
Bless you all friends!!!
Graciousness
For those of you following me I apologize for not posting in so long. As for me, since last post I had another stroke, had 2 angiograms, had a stent put into my right Vertebral Artery. Plus started speech and physical therapy. The outpouring of support for getting me better has been unbelievable. It truly makes me speechless to think of all the time given, meals made, and cards sent wishing me well! God has had His hand in all this and as unbelievable as it sounds I am thankful for it!!!
James 1:4-6 says, " Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."
In saying that, I tell you that I still pray God will help us bring N home! And I have never for a second doubted that with His gracious help she will be here. It is very hard to be patient, and it is very hard to slow our busy lives down. God allowed for mine to come to a sudden halt, not to punish me, but to help me see more clearly what he needs me to do. I also see patience in a different way. I will not heal from my strokes overnight. It will take the same patience as waiting to bring N home. I have to work hard at both things to make them happen! So Let's Go! LOL
James 1:4-6 says, " Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."
In saying that, I tell you that I still pray God will help us bring N home! And I have never for a second doubted that with His gracious help she will be here. It is very hard to be patient, and it is very hard to slow our busy lives down. God allowed for mine to come to a sudden halt, not to punish me, but to help me see more clearly what he needs me to do. I also see patience in a different way. I will not heal from my strokes overnight. It will take the same patience as waiting to bring N home. I have to work hard at both things to make them happen! So Let's Go! LOL
Over the hump
I probably should have written before now and I apologize. It is funny, someone asked me today how I am and how things are going and then apologized for asking because everyone is probably asking the same question, or are afraid to ask. Good news on several fronts, I am ok, things are going slowly, and there is no need to feel bad for asking. I will be honest, I have felt better! I decided it must be because we always ask each other how we are doing and most of the time we expect the same response from people. We are fine. I think since people know I am not fine, they are afraid to ask! I may not be "fine", but I'm alive and I am recovering, and I can not ask for more than that!
I have found it refreshing that there are so many ways that I have been blessed by this whole ordeal! It's hard to believe that it has been so easy to see how God is good through this. And at the same time I can see how someone who does not know God could see this in a very negative way. I mean I am 35 and I did have a stoke, 2 dissected arteries, and a long atrial fibrillation episode on my birthday. However, so many people have come around us and provided us with meals, and prayed for us. I have gotten so many cards from people and had friends come and sit with me! My Dad was able to come and be with me during the day and help get housework done and get me food!
I have also found it ironic that this happened while we are in a series about the book of Job at church and I was in the middle of a Bible Study by Priscilla Shirer called, "Discerning the Voice of God". I had been asking God to help me slow down so that I may hear Him more clearly. I guess He needed me to come to a screeching halt!!
Since many are afraid to ask us about how the adoption is going, I will tell you! We are still in the home study process. We got our application turned in and are waiting for our first appointment with our social worker. We are still about 8-10 months out from bringing her home so I have plenty of time to recover!
"You are no different than Job or the Disciples, in that, God will only allow those things which He knows will bring you closer to Him, give Him the glory, and make your heart more like His. It is imperative to truly understand that God will never give you more than you can withstand, and He will always make a way through your storms when you trust in Him."
-Cherie Hill, "Waiting on God"
I have found it refreshing that there are so many ways that I have been blessed by this whole ordeal! It's hard to believe that it has been so easy to see how God is good through this. And at the same time I can see how someone who does not know God could see this in a very negative way. I mean I am 35 and I did have a stoke, 2 dissected arteries, and a long atrial fibrillation episode on my birthday. However, so many people have come around us and provided us with meals, and prayed for us. I have gotten so many cards from people and had friends come and sit with me! My Dad was able to come and be with me during the day and help get housework done and get me food!
I have also found it ironic that this happened while we are in a series about the book of Job at church and I was in the middle of a Bible Study by Priscilla Shirer called, "Discerning the Voice of God". I had been asking God to help me slow down so that I may hear Him more clearly. I guess He needed me to come to a screeching halt!!
Since many are afraid to ask us about how the adoption is going, I will tell you! We are still in the home study process. We got our application turned in and are waiting for our first appointment with our social worker. We are still about 8-10 months out from bringing her home so I have plenty of time to recover!
"You are no different than Job or the Disciples, in that, God will only allow those things which He knows will bring you closer to Him, give Him the glory, and make your heart more like His. It is imperative to truly understand that God will never give you more than you can withstand, and He will always make a way through your storms when you trust in Him."
-Cherie Hill, "Waiting on God"
A bump in the road...
I had every intention of posting great news on Monday night. I was going to mail in our now completed application and fee to Lutheran Social Services and begin to move forward with our home study. God had a different plan and I trust in Him to make this all work still.
I ended up having a stroke. My vertebral arteries dissected and I went into atrial fibrillation for several hours. It was what I was always afraid would happen, as I have had a lot of neck pain and never felt "quite right". However, until the big event happens it is hard to explain to a doctor what doesn't feel "quite right". At my age, it always gets written off as the least severe of all the options until proven otherwise. I don't know if it could have been prevented, and now it doesn't really matter.
I am going to keep pursuing N as I was before. She has so much hope with us and the doctors don't feel like my life will be cut short because of it. It just needs treated correctly. I lost no motor function and I have no numbness anywhere. I can remember as much as I did before and I don't have any trouble following a conversation!
I know, and have complete faith, that what is meant to be, will work out in Gods perfect timing. My job is to get better and get the applications mailed out! We have such a long wait ahead of us anyway, that I have plenty of time to make myself better than I was before:)
I am so grateful to all the friends and family that has reached out to us! You are all so very nice! I will update again as soon as we get our home study going!
Thanks again everyone!
I ended up having a stroke. My vertebral arteries dissected and I went into atrial fibrillation for several hours. It was what I was always afraid would happen, as I have had a lot of neck pain and never felt "quite right". However, until the big event happens it is hard to explain to a doctor what doesn't feel "quite right". At my age, it always gets written off as the least severe of all the options until proven otherwise. I don't know if it could have been prevented, and now it doesn't really matter.
I am going to keep pursuing N as I was before. She has so much hope with us and the doctors don't feel like my life will be cut short because of it. It just needs treated correctly. I lost no motor function and I have no numbness anywhere. I can remember as much as I did before and I don't have any trouble following a conversation!
I know, and have complete faith, that what is meant to be, will work out in Gods perfect timing. My job is to get better and get the applications mailed out! We have such a long wait ahead of us anyway, that I have plenty of time to make myself better than I was before:)
I am so grateful to all the friends and family that has reached out to us! You are all so very nice! I will update again as soon as we get our home study going!
Thanks again everyone!
WE GOT "ANNIE" (Natty??) (LOL)
Maybe I am the only one that had every line of the Annie movie memorized as a child!
It is so hard to remember this verse sometimes. But when you are walking a journey solely based on faith you find out, that this is all you have. Faith that God is going to bring this together in His perfect timing. There will be bumps along the way and there will also be smooth sailing. I have faith, that if I let God lead, and I merely follow Him, this will all fall into place! Without human driven anxiety!!!
Today we got great news... We have been officially matched by the B government with our N!!!!! It might be a little more exciting with actual names, but oh well. Eventually we wont't have to worry about it! We will be setting up some fundraising things soon, so you can help us get N home as fast as possible!!!
Our vacation is over, it was great, if not a little empty, knowing that she was out there, in an orphanage, alone, while we had a great time in the sun! And a little strange knowing that this was most likely our last big vacation that she was not a part of.
Matt and I were also imaging what our next trip will be like, to Europe, to meet her. Then back again! I still can't imagine what that will be like. To meet a child that has been on this earth for over 2 years that I have not met, that I can call my daughter! That is an incredible thing, and as I have been shown, even though I never knew, God did... and that is good!
Oh and about the post title, I LOVED the movie Annie when I was growing up (and still!) so when I got the email today, that we were official, that song from the movie started playing in my head (on repeat) LOL
Be still and know that I am God.Psalm 46:10
It is so hard to remember this verse sometimes. But when you are walking a journey solely based on faith you find out, that this is all you have. Faith that God is going to bring this together in His perfect timing. There will be bumps along the way and there will also be smooth sailing. I have faith, that if I let God lead, and I merely follow Him, this will all fall into place! Without human driven anxiety!!!
Today we got great news... We have been officially matched by the B government with our N!!!!! It might be a little more exciting with actual names, but oh well. Eventually we wont't have to worry about it! We will be setting up some fundraising things soon, so you can help us get N home as fast as possible!!!
Our vacation is over, it was great, if not a little empty, knowing that she was out there, in an orphanage, alone, while we had a great time in the sun! And a little strange knowing that this was most likely our last big vacation that she was not a part of.
Matt and I were also imaging what our next trip will be like, to Europe, to meet her. Then back again! I still can't imagine what that will be like. To meet a child that has been on this earth for over 2 years that I have not met, that I can call my daughter! That is an incredible thing, and as I have been shown, even though I never knew, God did... and that is good!
Oh and about the post title, I LOVED the movie Annie when I was growing up (and still!) so when I got the email today, that we were official, that song from the movie started playing in my head (on repeat) LOL
Vacation day 1
I get so excited when I think about our vacation. Not because I am so happy to feel, and see, some sunshine, but because I know this may be our last year of vacation without N.
I had the best experience yesterday. I had been feeling pretty guilty that we would be on vacation on Easter Sunday. So, I took the girls over to Pathway for the "Prayer Experience" they out together. First of all, the one for children was perfect and it melted my heart to see Caroline understand it and take time to quietly pray to God. She told me many of her prayers were for N!
It was totally worth it for me also. I realized there are times that I feel broken. And asking God for forgiveness and giving him praise for His grace is so healing! Do we not all have pieces of ourselves that are not worthy of Gods love? Isn't it amazing to know Jesus died so that we may be worthy anyway, if only we believe? I am so comforted in that. I saw this online and love it. I wish I could give credit to who made it, but I do not know!
I had the best experience yesterday. I had been feeling pretty guilty that we would be on vacation on Easter Sunday. So, I took the girls over to Pathway for the "Prayer Experience" they out together. First of all, the one for children was perfect and it melted my heart to see Caroline understand it and take time to quietly pray to God. She told me many of her prayers were for N!
It was totally worth it for me also. I realized there are times that I feel broken. And asking God for forgiveness and giving him praise for His grace is so healing! Do we not all have pieces of ourselves that are not worthy of Gods love? Isn't it amazing to know Jesus died so that we may be worthy anyway, if only we believe? I am so comforted in that. I saw this online and love it. I wish I could give credit to who made it, but I do not know!
Family, friends, fun.... Something missing
This was a great weekend! I don't remember the last time we had a weekend with no kids and just got to enjoy each other, our friends, and our family! I do love doing things with the kids, but now and then it is fun to have adult time, and I am so great full that my cousin, Tony, provided us with a great excuse to get out of town and have a wonderful time while attending his wedding! The food was beyond comparison, as he had some of the best chefs in the Midwest preparing it! Seeing my family all together was priceless. And getting to shop put the icing on the cake!!!
My weekend started out at dinner with my best friend, Niki! We enjoyed an awesome evening and got some time to catch up and talk! I do hope she will be able to help me as I start getting the house ready for N to come home!
I tried so hard this weekend not to think too much about our adoption journey, only to hand it to God when I was thinking about it. I just have to keep telling myself, "in His timing, in His timing". But this week dragged on, as far as any real progress goes. Actually, the last 2 weeks have been dragging. I've almost got our packet filled out for the social worker. I just need medical evaluations for all of us. And I need to double check that N will be covered on our insurance as soon as the adoption is finalized.
If the snow isn't too bad I will hit the ground running tomorrow!
Here is a picture of me, my Grandma Dee, Jayme (SIL), and Mitchel (my cousin) at the wedding. We were getting ready to go in the photo booth!
My weekend started out at dinner with my best friend, Niki! We enjoyed an awesome evening and got some time to catch up and talk! I do hope she will be able to help me as I start getting the house ready for N to come home!
I tried so hard this weekend not to think too much about our adoption journey, only to hand it to God when I was thinking about it. I just have to keep telling myself, "in His timing, in His timing". But this week dragged on, as far as any real progress goes. Actually, the last 2 weeks have been dragging. I've almost got our packet filled out for the social worker. I just need medical evaluations for all of us. And I need to double check that N will be covered on our insurance as soon as the adoption is finalized.
If the snow isn't too bad I will hit the ground running tomorrow!
Here is a picture of me, my Grandma Dee, Jayme (SIL), and Mitchel (my cousin) at the wedding. We were getting ready to go in the photo booth!
Let the clock begin
Today, I FINALLY got the application in that will officially put Natalie "On Hold" for us! I am so relieved to have that done. The process of completing it wasn't without testing my patience though! I do hope that we are able to have a somewhat timely Home Study done. But, if it continues as it has started... well, I will be praying for patience to remember that this will happen in God's time!
Sometimes it is so hard to imagine that she is just out there, doing her thing everyday at the orphanage, completely oblivious to the fact that she has a family that is so excited to have her and love her! I am reading a great book call The Connected Child, by Dr Karyn Purvis, Ph. D. I also have the study guide that is Christian based and it is extremely good, and a little more interactive!! I hope that it will prepare me for the challenges of her connecting to us and adjusting to life outside of the orphanage! It probably will also make me a better parent to my biological kids by the time all is said and done!
God is bringing some amazing people into my life and I can't wait to learn from them. Parents that already have daughters with Down Syndrome, and can give lots of realistic advice that books may not be able to touch.
I just got done studying the book of James and there were so many passages that stuck out to me, but here is one that I will need to remember more often than not for awhile...
James 5:11
"As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy."
http://www.DSANI.org
Sometimes it is so hard to imagine that she is just out there, doing her thing everyday at the orphanage, completely oblivious to the fact that she has a family that is so excited to have her and love her! I am reading a great book call The Connected Child, by Dr Karyn Purvis, Ph. D. I also have the study guide that is Christian based and it is extremely good, and a little more interactive!! I hope that it will prepare me for the challenges of her connecting to us and adjusting to life outside of the orphanage! It probably will also make me a better parent to my biological kids by the time all is said and done!
God is bringing some amazing people into my life and I can't wait to learn from them. Parents that already have daughters with Down Syndrome, and can give lots of realistic advice that books may not be able to touch.
I just got done studying the book of James and there were so many passages that stuck out to me, but here is one that I will need to remember more often than not for awhile...
James 5:11
"As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy."
http://www.DSANI.org
And wait....
I can't promise to write on here very often, when there is nothing new to report. We are currently waiting for Lutheran Social Services to mail us the packet we need to get our home study done. I am so nervous, I mean just the name "home study" sounds intimidating! However, I have been reassured by many that it is not as bad as it sounds! Besides it will bring us one step closer to bringing N home!
I was so happy today to share our story in my Bible study group! They are such strong and supportive women! I know I will need the strength of the word of God to get me through, not only the initial process, but more importantly, through the adjustment period and beyond. It is my view that if God has brought us to this journey that He will see us through it and not forsake us! I am not saying everything will all go perfectly, but I know God is gracious if I listen to him!
I am also glad that most everyone knows what we are up to. I'm not too good at hiding things and I am so excited that I want to be able to talk about it! I am glad that the girls are so excited. We pray for the process and for N with them! I have been asked what will happen if this all goes wrong for some reason and N's adoption doesn't through? I believe we are in this as a family, kids included! If we get our hearts broken, then we will all fight through it together. This is as much of a learning experience for them as it is for us!
I will probably post again in a couple of days!
I was so happy today to share our story in my Bible study group! They are such strong and supportive women! I know I will need the strength of the word of God to get me through, not only the initial process, but more importantly, through the adjustment period and beyond. It is my view that if God has brought us to this journey that He will see us through it and not forsake us! I am not saying everything will all go perfectly, but I know God is gracious if I listen to him!
I am also glad that most everyone knows what we are up to. I'm not too good at hiding things and I am so excited that I want to be able to talk about it! I am glad that the girls are so excited. We pray for the process and for N with them! I have been asked what will happen if this all goes wrong for some reason and N's adoption doesn't through? I believe we are in this as a family, kids included! If we get our hearts broken, then we will all fight through it together. This is as much of a learning experience for them as it is for us!
I will probably post again in a couple of days!
We're IN!!!
We have had a busy couple of days! The best news is that we were officially welcomed into the program!! We are one step closer to bringing our little girl home!!
To make it even more real, we went and applied for passports today! I guess it takes up to six weeks for those to come back. Until then, we have plenty more to do. We are going to have to get our home study set up. Oh and we have applications, and more applications to fill out!!
The family almost all knows what's going on now, and I think everyone is on board. It is great to have the support of all those we love behind us! Our little angel will be coming into so many open arms!! She will most definitely be the star of the show as soon as she hits US soil!!!
I continue to pray that the incredibly strong feeling I had at Christmas time plays out and that we have her home by this Christmas. It is a long shot, as it is estimated that start to finish time is at least a year. After applying for the passport I had the most surreal feeling, not being able to imagine myself in eastern Europe. It would be a dream vacation in itself, much less to bring our precious daughter home!!
Today would have been my Grandpa's 85th birthday and as circumstances had it, I felt like I really needed to tell Grandma what was up. Especially since the whole beginning of this blog was about her!!! She was, of course, shocked at our decision, but extremely happy that we would open our hearts up to a Down Syndrome child. As expected, she had her warnings, and advice. Both are very well accepted and appreciated by me, as I know we have a lifelong adventure ahead! I think Matt put it best today, "Well, at least we will never have to have empty nest syndrome"!!! Very true.
Both sides of our family, while surprised at what we've been up to, love our angel just as much as we do. They just didn't know it until this week!! My family has such a soft spot for Down Syndrome in general, and Matt's family is very open to any new grandchildren! Even the cousins are so excited to have a toddler around again!
On a more serious note. I only felt it fair for me to call Bobby at the nursing home myself. I knew he wouldn't know me, or talk to me, or acknowledge me in any way, but I had to do it for myself. So, I had the nurse put the phone to his ear and I told him that he had been right. That I was getting a baby girl that is like him, and that I hope he can meet her when she comes home. After I hung up and had my cry, I prayed that if he does still talk to Jesus, maybe he could let him know also!
To make it even more real, we went and applied for passports today! I guess it takes up to six weeks for those to come back. Until then, we have plenty more to do. We are going to have to get our home study set up. Oh and we have applications, and more applications to fill out!!
The family almost all knows what's going on now, and I think everyone is on board. It is great to have the support of all those we love behind us! Our little angel will be coming into so many open arms!! She will most definitely be the star of the show as soon as she hits US soil!!!
I continue to pray that the incredibly strong feeling I had at Christmas time plays out and that we have her home by this Christmas. It is a long shot, as it is estimated that start to finish time is at least a year. After applying for the passport I had the most surreal feeling, not being able to imagine myself in eastern Europe. It would be a dream vacation in itself, much less to bring our precious daughter home!!
Today would have been my Grandpa's 85th birthday and as circumstances had it, I felt like I really needed to tell Grandma what was up. Especially since the whole beginning of this blog was about her!!! She was, of course, shocked at our decision, but extremely happy that we would open our hearts up to a Down Syndrome child. As expected, she had her warnings, and advice. Both are very well accepted and appreciated by me, as I know we have a lifelong adventure ahead! I think Matt put it best today, "Well, at least we will never have to have empty nest syndrome"!!! Very true.
Both sides of our family, while surprised at what we've been up to, love our angel just as much as we do. They just didn't know it until this week!! My family has such a soft spot for Down Syndrome in general, and Matt's family is very open to any new grandchildren! Even the cousins are so excited to have a toddler around again!
On a more serious note. I only felt it fair for me to call Bobby at the nursing home myself. I knew he wouldn't know me, or talk to me, or acknowledge me in any way, but I had to do it for myself. So, I had the nurse put the phone to his ear and I told him that he had been right. That I was getting a baby girl that is like him, and that I hope he can meet her when she comes home. After I hung up and had my cry, I prayed that if he does still talk to Jesus, maybe he could let him know also!
Off to Application City
I think I will be dreaming about applications tonight. My printer is almost out of ink, for all the papers I have had to print. My computer has even frozen on me in retaliation for all the documents I have scanned and sorted and made and attached, etc....
James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
This will all be well worth it and the nerd in me enjoys it.... a little. I have started a binder to keep the original copies of everything in and I put our angel's picture in the front. Just to remind me of my goal, when I get frustrated with ALL the paperwork! To think this is just the beginning is daunting. I feel like I've signed at least two mortgages already!
It is amazing to me how people come out of the woodwork, so to speak, that are truly valuable resources for us. When I started researching I really felt so alone in a sea of waiting children and thousands of agencies. I really had less than a clue of where to start. My friend, Julie, pointed out to me the other day something that has become so apparent to me now. When God puts adoption on your heart He brings the right resources and people to you. He calls us to be defenders of orphans. I just finished the most amazing Bible study on the book of James. His instructions are...
James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
I might be polluted, but I am working on it, and I will be honored to look after her!
Getting Closer
Psalm 82:3
Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless;
maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
To list all the interventions and signs God has given us here would take all day... so let me skip ahead. Since Matt and I married in 2002, he has mentioned adoption. He always said we will have our biological children, but then we should adopt. I was always hesitant as I wasn't sure how many kids I could handle!! Of course, at that time all we had was Julian, so lots of kids seemed overwhelming! After years of soul searching, and years of prayer to be obedient to God's word, I started opening up to it a little. We attend Pathway Community Church, here in Fort Wayne and they are huge advocates for adoption. They have a ministry called True Vine that assists families with the adoption process, spiritually and finically.
I have worked part time for the last 6 years and I was getting pretty stressed out in my job. I was a CT (CAT scan) Tech at the hospital in town and I loved what I did and the people I worked with. I can only call it a "perfect storm" of events that lead to me turning in my resignation effective January 1. Although, I had been considering quitting for quite some time, I thought I would stay in awhile longer. I had started poking around some of the adoption sites just to obtain a little information without any commitment in mind. Of course, there were so many children in need, but I knew that I could only handle a fairly high functioning Down Syndrome child. In prayer I asked God to let me know when it was time to quit, for then I would pursue adoption. It took about a month for me to really listen!!
After I quit I found Reece's Rainbow and so many beautiful Down Syndrome children in need of loving families!! I am excited to sponsor their efforts in the future! I then, contacted True Vine Ministries and started really reading about how different countries work. I filled out a pre applications for them and they informed us that a country in eastern Europe was going to be our best option. Andrea at Reece's Rainbow agreed. We would have the least hurdles to jump to be accepted. I didn't think it was my first choice, to be honest, but I wholeheartedly accepted it as I was at such peace. I knew we were going in the right direction. So I started inquiring about the girls in particular as I knew my girls would be more accepting of a little sister, and Julian would be out of the house in a few years so a boy might feel left behind by him. I searched Reece's Rainbow and Rainbow Kids. I asked Andrea at Reece's Rainbow about several children, however nothing fit. Just having her introduced into our lives has been a tremendous blessing.
I talked to three agencies and three ministries. I looked at orphan after orphan, wondering if one of them could be mine and I was just passing them by. I asked God how I am to know. Could He give me a sign? How was I ever to be sure? Was I listening?
Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless;
maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
To list all the interventions and signs God has given us here would take all day... so let me skip ahead. Since Matt and I married in 2002, he has mentioned adoption. He always said we will have our biological children, but then we should adopt. I was always hesitant as I wasn't sure how many kids I could handle!! Of course, at that time all we had was Julian, so lots of kids seemed overwhelming! After years of soul searching, and years of prayer to be obedient to God's word, I started opening up to it a little. We attend Pathway Community Church, here in Fort Wayne and they are huge advocates for adoption. They have a ministry called True Vine that assists families with the adoption process, spiritually and finically.
I have worked part time for the last 6 years and I was getting pretty stressed out in my job. I was a CT (CAT scan) Tech at the hospital in town and I loved what I did and the people I worked with. I can only call it a "perfect storm" of events that lead to me turning in my resignation effective January 1. Although, I had been considering quitting for quite some time, I thought I would stay in awhile longer. I had started poking around some of the adoption sites just to obtain a little information without any commitment in mind. Of course, there were so many children in need, but I knew that I could only handle a fairly high functioning Down Syndrome child. In prayer I asked God to let me know when it was time to quit, for then I would pursue adoption. It took about a month for me to really listen!!
After I quit I found Reece's Rainbow and so many beautiful Down Syndrome children in need of loving families!! I am excited to sponsor their efforts in the future! I then, contacted True Vine Ministries and started really reading about how different countries work. I filled out a pre applications for them and they informed us that a country in eastern Europe was going to be our best option. Andrea at Reece's Rainbow agreed. We would have the least hurdles to jump to be accepted. I didn't think it was my first choice, to be honest, but I wholeheartedly accepted it as I was at such peace. I knew we were going in the right direction. So I started inquiring about the girls in particular as I knew my girls would be more accepting of a little sister, and Julian would be out of the house in a few years so a boy might feel left behind by him. I searched Reece's Rainbow and Rainbow Kids. I asked Andrea at Reece's Rainbow about several children, however nothing fit. Just having her introduced into our lives has been a tremendous blessing.
I talked to three agencies and three ministries. I looked at orphan after orphan, wondering if one of them could be mine and I was just passing them by. I asked God how I am to know. Could He give me a sign? How was I ever to be sure? Was I listening?
OMG, Hit by a br...SIGN
This part gets exciting!!
I was instructed that I could pick an agency that works in eastern Europe and get matched with a child, or I could find one of the children online, inquire about them and then go with the agency that they are affiliated through. I had no idea what to do. So again, I prayed that God give me a sign, something that would be undeniable, I did not want to mess this up!! Who hasn't heard adoption horror stories, right?
I had heard of All God's Children, so I contacted them and we talked to the nicest person. I could really have worked with her! The next day I got an email from Little Miracles whom I also spoke to. Andrea was so nice also and very helpful and provided us with so much information that was so very needed at that time!
That was when I saw "Amanda" on Rainbow Kids. She was born in 2010 and she was in Eastern Europe. Since I knew we could only consider one country I filled out the small inquiry section below her name to find out which country she was in. That was when I got Nina's email. "Amanda" is in the country we needed. She was born in 2010, and Nina sent us her pictures and Medical record, which Matt could read over and decipher for me!!! She appeared to fit the "description" of the daughter we were looking for.
It gets better...
We started to talk to Julian (15), Caroline (9), and Taylor (7) about God's call for us to bring home an orphan to raise and love as a daughter and sister. We let them know she would be like Bobby and that we would be able to provide for her things she could never dream of having in an orphanage. We could give her a future. We asked them to pray for this child, and we showed them the pictures and video of "Amanda". They fell in love with her picture immediately. We hated having to explain to them that this was not final and that even if "Amanda" isn't the child God has for us that there is one out there just as in need. They all expressed their understanding.
Taylor and I had a private discussion last Thursday night. I had sent in the initial application, and while I did not feel like everything was wrapped up by any means, I felt like we could dream a little. So Taylor and I talked about praying for our adoption and we talked about if we did not get "Amanda". However, there was a name that had been on my heart for a few years and I wanted to talk to Taylor about it. The girls both had the same kindergarden teacher. Her name is Natalie Hilger and she is the most perfect kindergarden teacher you could ever ask for! Her name stuck to me though since Caroline had her. So I asked Taylor what she thought of naming our little girl, Natalie. She agreed that it was a cute name for "Amanda". A friend of mine also has a little girl named Natalie who is in Natalie's class this year and I told her a couple months ago how much I loved the name! So at least that was settled, Taylor and I were voting to name her Natalie!
The next morning I inquired with Nina about choosing a name. What role did the name "Amanda" play in this? Does she have a birth name? What is the best advice as far as her age and changing her name? Do kids this age get confused? Should we keep part of her eastern European name?
Nina replied very quickly that her name is ().... Amanda is what we were call her for privacy. Most families choose a new first name generally and try to incorporate part of the child's eastern European name into what they name them.
WOW!
I was instructed that I could pick an agency that works in eastern Europe and get matched with a child, or I could find one of the children online, inquire about them and then go with the agency that they are affiliated through. I had no idea what to do. So again, I prayed that God give me a sign, something that would be undeniable, I did not want to mess this up!! Who hasn't heard adoption horror stories, right?
I had heard of All God's Children, so I contacted them and we talked to the nicest person. I could really have worked with her! The next day I got an email from Little Miracles whom I also spoke to. Andrea was so nice also and very helpful and provided us with so much information that was so very needed at that time!
That was when I saw "Amanda" on Rainbow Kids. She was born in 2010 and she was in Eastern Europe. Since I knew we could only consider one country I filled out the small inquiry section below her name to find out which country she was in. That was when I got Nina's email. "Amanda" is in the country we needed. She was born in 2010, and Nina sent us her pictures and Medical record, which Matt could read over and decipher for me!!! She appeared to fit the "description" of the daughter we were looking for.
It gets better...
We started to talk to Julian (15), Caroline (9), and Taylor (7) about God's call for us to bring home an orphan to raise and love as a daughter and sister. We let them know she would be like Bobby and that we would be able to provide for her things she could never dream of having in an orphanage. We could give her a future. We asked them to pray for this child, and we showed them the pictures and video of "Amanda". They fell in love with her picture immediately. We hated having to explain to them that this was not final and that even if "Amanda" isn't the child God has for us that there is one out there just as in need. They all expressed their understanding.
Taylor and I had a private discussion last Thursday night. I had sent in the initial application, and while I did not feel like everything was wrapped up by any means, I felt like we could dream a little. So Taylor and I talked about praying for our adoption and we talked about if we did not get "Amanda". However, there was a name that had been on my heart for a few years and I wanted to talk to Taylor about it. The girls both had the same kindergarden teacher. Her name is Natalie Hilger and she is the most perfect kindergarden teacher you could ever ask for! Her name stuck to me though since Caroline had her. So I asked Taylor what she thought of naming our little girl, Natalie. She agreed that it was a cute name for "Amanda". A friend of mine also has a little girl named Natalie who is in Natalie's class this year and I told her a couple months ago how much I loved the name! So at least that was settled, Taylor and I were voting to name her Natalie!
The next morning I inquired with Nina about choosing a name. What role did the name "Amanda" play in this? Does she have a birth name? What is the best advice as far as her age and changing her name? Do kids this age get confused? Should we keep part of her eastern European name?
Nina replied very quickly that her name is ().... Amanda is what we were call her for privacy. Most families choose a new first name generally and try to incorporate part of the child's eastern European name into what they name them.
WOW!
Another Day, Another Answered Prayer
I can't make this up...
I wrote everything down I was feeling on Friday in a note to "Amanda". I don't think anyone will believe this story so I wanted to record it all so I don't forget anything in the future. And I wanted her to know how I truly felt, that God knew she was ours long before we did. Maybe that would explain the empty feeling I had at Christmas that someone was missing. Or the thought I kept having that next year will be different. Can it happen that fast? I guess only God willing and I now know to never doubt the role of God in my life again! He is the way, the truth, and the life and through Him I will forever be amazed at the way he subtly brought this all into focus for us.
Phillipians 4:6 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to the Lord."
My high over the name thing came crashing down on me yesterday. I didn't hear from Nina all day and I wanted to know how close we are to being matched and not "On hold". I selfishly resorted to Facebook and found Nina. I sent a friend request. I reread all my emails to see if I missed something important. I emailed Nina at least twice. I even called the agency. Then I took a breath. I remembered that I should not be on people time, but on God's time. I was anxious and I needed to just trust. I started typing this blog.
At 10:30 last night after putting my phone away and working on typing for over two hours I looked at my email. And there it was, just what I had been prayerfully (not anxiously, LOL) waiting for in my inbox! Nina's email said, "Chances are EXTREMELY good you will be able to adopt her." It was just the little bit of encouragement I needed. Even better, she accepted my friend request and joined me into the eastern Europe adoption CHI support group! I now have other parents to share experiences with, lean on, and ask questions to!
On to Application City we go....
I wrote everything down I was feeling on Friday in a note to "Amanda". I don't think anyone will believe this story so I wanted to record it all so I don't forget anything in the future. And I wanted her to know how I truly felt, that God knew she was ours long before we did. Maybe that would explain the empty feeling I had at Christmas that someone was missing. Or the thought I kept having that next year will be different. Can it happen that fast? I guess only God willing and I now know to never doubt the role of God in my life again! He is the way, the truth, and the life and through Him I will forever be amazed at the way he subtly brought this all into focus for us.
Phillipians 4:6 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to the Lord."
My high over the name thing came crashing down on me yesterday. I didn't hear from Nina all day and I wanted to know how close we are to being matched and not "On hold". I selfishly resorted to Facebook and found Nina. I sent a friend request. I reread all my emails to see if I missed something important. I emailed Nina at least twice. I even called the agency. Then I took a breath. I remembered that I should not be on people time, but on God's time. I was anxious and I needed to just trust. I started typing this blog.
At 10:30 last night after putting my phone away and working on typing for over two hours I looked at my email. And there it was, just what I had been prayerfully (not anxiously, LOL) waiting for in my inbox! Nina's email said, "Chances are EXTREMELY good you will be able to adopt her." It was just the little bit of encouragement I needed. Even better, she accepted my friend request and joined me into the eastern Europe adoption CHI support group! I now have other parents to share experiences with, lean on, and ask questions to!
On to Application City we go....
The History
This is only the beginning, the very beginning, of our journey as we know it, and yet the fingerprints of God show that this journey started so many years ago.
Our minds have been opened, our hearts have been engulfed, and our souls have been forever changed. When was she born, you may ask? At times, I begin to wonder if there was ever a time that she didn't exist. Won't this change everything? Maybe this is everything. Isn't this a life long commitment? Is there a child that isn't? How do you know this is right? God has shown us that there is to be no doubt. When it comes to this child, she was always meant to be in our lives. What if the adoption doesn't go through? It may not, but God has shown Himself in ways that are undeniable to the harshest of critics. We are here because we have been called, the rest of this journey is in God's hands just as the beginning was.
The decision to adopt has come from a lifetime of prodding, by God, to see things others don't see, potential that others are blind to, love that only few can understand. I will speak for myself right now as I am sure Matt has his own path that wound through his childhood. I had Bobby in my life. To me that is enough said. My Grandparents had Bobby in 1948. My Grandma was not told he had Down Syndrome until he was 4 months old. The doctor felt bad for her as I'm sure he knew both my Grandparents and saw how proud they were of their first born son. I can not imagine the emotion that goes with finding out your seemingly "perfect" child has a genetic disorder that most equate with being "retarted". What I have and always will admire most about my Grandparents is that they knew from the beginning that Bobby was a gift from God and no one but them would love him, nurture him, and raise him to be a proud of who he is. Loved by everyone he meets, even today, in his nursing home everyone loves him. It was assumed that he could not learn, but I think he knew more than many. He knows Jesus, and has told us on several occasions that Jesus talks to him and tells him he is an angel, sent to take care of Grandma and Grandpa. He has done his job and done it well.
When anyone in the family became pregnant we always went to Bobby as he had a knack for knowing the sex of the unborn child (most of the time... well sometimes!). I was told this by Jayme a few days ago. She sat alone with Bobby at the kitchen table shortly after we found out I was pregnant. She asked Bobby "what will Angela's baby be?" "Like me," said Bobby. "You mean a boy?" asked Jayme. "No, a girl" I did have a girl, however Jayme was very shaken until Taylor was born, as she thought Bobby predicted my child would have Down Syndrome.
Of course, it is far fetched to think Bobby may have told us 8 years ago that we would have a Down Syndrome girl, but when you hear the rest...
Our minds have been opened, our hearts have been engulfed, and our souls have been forever changed. When was she born, you may ask? At times, I begin to wonder if there was ever a time that she didn't exist. Won't this change everything? Maybe this is everything. Isn't this a life long commitment? Is there a child that isn't? How do you know this is right? God has shown us that there is to be no doubt. When it comes to this child, she was always meant to be in our lives. What if the adoption doesn't go through? It may not, but God has shown Himself in ways that are undeniable to the harshest of critics. We are here because we have been called, the rest of this journey is in God's hands just as the beginning was.
The decision to adopt has come from a lifetime of prodding, by God, to see things others don't see, potential that others are blind to, love that only few can understand. I will speak for myself right now as I am sure Matt has his own path that wound through his childhood. I had Bobby in my life. To me that is enough said. My Grandparents had Bobby in 1948. My Grandma was not told he had Down Syndrome until he was 4 months old. The doctor felt bad for her as I'm sure he knew both my Grandparents and saw how proud they were of their first born son. I can not imagine the emotion that goes with finding out your seemingly "perfect" child has a genetic disorder that most equate with being "retarted". What I have and always will admire most about my Grandparents is that they knew from the beginning that Bobby was a gift from God and no one but them would love him, nurture him, and raise him to be a proud of who he is. Loved by everyone he meets, even today, in his nursing home everyone loves him. It was assumed that he could not learn, but I think he knew more than many. He knows Jesus, and has told us on several occasions that Jesus talks to him and tells him he is an angel, sent to take care of Grandma and Grandpa. He has done his job and done it well.
When anyone in the family became pregnant we always went to Bobby as he had a knack for knowing the sex of the unborn child (most of the time... well sometimes!). I was told this by Jayme a few days ago. She sat alone with Bobby at the kitchen table shortly after we found out I was pregnant. She asked Bobby "what will Angela's baby be?" "Like me," said Bobby. "You mean a boy?" asked Jayme. "No, a girl" I did have a girl, however Jayme was very shaken until Taylor was born, as she thought Bobby predicted my child would have Down Syndrome.
Of course, it is far fetched to think Bobby may have told us 8 years ago that we would have a Down Syndrome girl, but when you hear the rest...
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