Into the Great Unknown

The Lord is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1 NIV)

Who ever thought this day would get here? Certainly not me! To think we have been waiting and filling out paperwork, and sending money for over a year now! Wow. We have been through so much in this year. And now the day is here, we finally leave to meet our angel! I don't know if I can fully get my arms around it. What will she look like now? We haven't seen a picture of her except what they gave us a year ago! Will she warm up to us while we are there? I mean, we do have phones and in one of the videos that is how they were getting her to walk, so I guess we have that going for us! How hard is it going to be to leave her there after spending a week with her? I'm not even going there yet! 

None of this even touches my fears of leaving my country to go to a part of the world that hasn't exactly been peaceful! Luckily where we are going is safe, but it is strange to think how close we will be to where it is not safe!

Will we get in the right lines at the airports? Will people in the other countries be able to communicate with us? We will have a translator with us when we visit N, but not when we explore the city. 

I want to thank everyone for praying for us as we take this epic trip! I will have plenty of time to spend in prayer also as I know only God has control of this! We are only trying to follow where he is leading us. The verse I used in this post will be repeated over and over in my head as I get myself on the airplane to fly over an entire ocean to meet a daughter that was born over 3 years ago! But God knew, this was always His plan! And this is His timing! 

I will post daily to let you know everything we do! And I hope to have pictures Monday! Luckily we will be 6 hours ahead of you all so you will get photos early!!

God bless you all and thank you for all the support you have given us over this last year! We are almost there!!

The Perfect Plan

Gods plan is something that we, as humans, question constantly. It is perfect and it is all done in His timing. We are reminded pretty regularly as obedient Christ followers that it is not our job to assume or to make our own plan. I always imagined bringing N home and getting pictures with the family. Celebrating together and introducing her to everyone. That was suppose to include Bobby. He was our inspiration from the start. It is because of him I know there is a better life for her than an institution. I don't want to act like I did not know this was a possibility, but at the same time I thought I knew the plan. However, Gods plan is bigger than me. Bobby always told me he was an Angel, and he is. He told me how much he loves Jesus and now he has got to meet Him. He always told me when he died he will be our guardian and now he will fulfil that promise. Two weeks before we go to meet our N for the first time. I have no doubt about this, God has called him to be our guardian angel. Not just Matt and I as we travel, but also as we start our new family journey. The thing is Bobby is everyone's angel. His love was limitless on Earth and now reaches from Heaven to every life he ever touched. And there are more than can be counted because he didn't know a stranger! My tears are not for a life lost, because there was no lose. My tears are of gratitude that I was blessed enough to have known Bobby. To have hugged and kissed him. To have been one of his "sweetie pies". There will never be a greater distinction. 

Here we GOOOOOO!

I have waited a couple of days to post this because I have been answering so many questions on Facebook and such. It has given me more direction for posting  in the blog and has given me time to come up with the best way to express my feelings!! Everyone now knows, WE. HAVE. TRAVEL. DATES. The plane tickets are purchased, the hotel room is reserved, some gifts for the orphanage are bought. This is happening! OMG, it is so real now. There really is a little girl, and she really does need us to come save her and we really are going to do just that! And our lives really are going to totally change. For the better. We have a great God and He has not led us here to forsake us. This is for real! 

On a more somber note. I have talked about Uncle Bobby when I first started this blog. He has shown me I can do this. I can handle this. Grandma did it for 64 years and I can do it to! Grandma will still be here to help me get started. However, the possibility of Bobby being here is looking dimmer all the time. Because of Bobby I know there is a light in Down Syndrome kids that no other human being possesses. I know there is a faith in Down Syndrome kids that never questions our great God and His great plan to bring us to His side. I am not negligent of the temper or the potential for hard times. But I am hopeful to find a strength I didn't know we had. I am hopeful that, even if Bobby doesn't ever meet Natalie, he will surely be just as much her angel as he will be ours. He promised and he said Jeaus verified this to him. Who am I to doubt? 

We have most of the things we need. And we have resources that we are very grateful for. The total cost for this adoption is going to be around $35,000.00. We got about $1000 from our garage sale and Amy Mansur did a fundraiser for us and we got about $300! Jenny Voigt did a fundraiser for us and I was able to get some Christmas presents so that we could save some money! We have gotten a couple of random donations that we have been so thankful for. And we still have a ton of shoes to get rid of and collect money for!

I want you to know that we also have a link. It is https://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/help-us-go-get-natalie/118494

This is for traveling and supplies! There are several things we will need for Natalie. Medical costs, a bed, a stroller, clothes, etc. the list is long! I am excited to provide more for her than she could have dreamed of in an orphanage. And if you are moved to help in any way I just want to give you that opportunity. For Amy, Jenny, Heather, Susan, and anyone else that has provided support or will provide support I am going to make a blanket that has everyone's name sewn into it. Pictures to come:) But I want Natalie to know that bringing her home isn't something that just Matt and I did, but rather something we did as God's family, together. To make one less orphan!!

Any day now

I am so excited. As more families on the Facebook page for CHI are traveling I know that we are so close!!! We will be one of the next to get our referrel and travel to visit our N!!! It is starting to seem so real and so exciting! I have the normal (I think) anxieties about if she will hate us, or something unexpected happens, but really I just want to see for myself who God has led us to! And of course see how many pictures I can take in 1 week!! Speaking of which, I think they also send new pictures when they send the referral!!!! She is prob so much bigger now than a year ago! It is hard to believe we have been waiting almost a year now and at the same time I am glad that we have the time to get prepared and get really excited! It stinks and makes it so bittersweet at the same time. The longer it goes on the more I hate to think of her living an orphanage life, when she should be living an amazing life with us! She is so loved already and we haven't even met fave to face. Perhaps we have met heart to heart?

The Lord will accomplish what concerns me; Your lovingkindness, O Lord, is everlasting; Do not forsake the works of Your hands. (Psalms 138:8 NASB)

New Year, New Family

I am so excited for 2014 to be here, because I know it means the best changes EVER! We are getting so close to having everything B needs for us to issue a travel date! Tomorrow I will send out the last paper they need to be apostilled by the Sec of State before our first trip! Then once I get that paper back and then sent to the country we will get a travel date!!!!! It may be slightly more complicated than that, but you get the idea. None of it is easy! We did buy Natalie a couple of Christams presents, maybe out of excitement, or maybe as preparation! I still would like a couple of really soft throw blankets for her and a taggie! I have splurged and attacked the Matilda Jane clearance sale and bought a few outfits! Hey, a girl will have to have some style.... Maybe she should be their model?!!!!!

Some may ask if knowing that a travel date just means our first trip makes us sad. Yes and No. Yes because it will be heart breaking to see her, hold her, and then leave her there. No, because it will be real. She will no longer be a picture from a year ago. We will be able to take pictures of us with her. We will be able to take presents and we will be able to show her that she has a family. I don't know how much she will understand. And I don't know if she will understand that we are coming back. That is in Gods hands. To comfort us in the space between visitation and pick up. We have come this far. For almost a year we have been staring at a picture of a girl who doesn't know how lucky she is about to get!!! That is worth it all!

You, Lord, hear the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed, so that mere earthly mortals will never again strike terror. (Psalm 10:17, 18 NIV)

Patient Impatience

There is the oxymoron of the year!! I spend so much time praying for patience, sometimes it almost seems trivial. In the end, I just want N here ASAP!! As I watch friends and family having their babies in 9 months it hardly seems fair that we have to wait over a year for a baby we chose in February!!! But, so is the adoption journey. God has perfect timing, right? I must tell myself that 500 times a day. It keeps me at peace for awhile, them I see a small child, or even worse a small Down Syndome child and the excitement gets the better of me again. I usually try to put a verse with my post, but I am on my phone and I keep losing the post of I go out of the app, so I will include a verse next time!!! As Jesus told us to do, "Protect the Fatherless and the Widows."

Adoption is no accident...

But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children. And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “Abba, Father.” Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir. (Galatians 4:4-7 NLT)

This verse was brought up by Beth Moore in a study I am doing right now and it has been ringing through my ears (along with that stupid fox song), ever since she talked about it. Her comment was basically that God chose us and adopted us into His family by sending Jesus to die on the cross and forgive our sins. God CHOSE us to be his children. He ADOPTED us into His family for His good. To be His heir. Many women say they became pregnant "by accident", but has anyone ever adopted "by accident"? I am pretty confident that the answer is no. This is not a process for the faint of heart. Every aspect of your life is documented and closely examined. You have to open up your feelings, your story in Christ, your home to judgement as to whether you can parent another child. We are so blessed with family, friends, and a church that has vouched for us, that we are capable to love another child (with special needs even!). I praise God for all the signs and for the courage to go through with all this! 

We are getting so close to our first trip. I just found out our Dossier (packet of applications) has been sent to B!!!! All we need is for them to get it, approve it, and give us a travel date to go see her!!! It is surreal to think how close we are! I have relied on God to keep me patient and I will continue, but I am so excited to meet this little girl I have been staring at pictures of for almost 8 months!

Please keep prayers coming for us, especially financially, as this is getting expensive!! She is well worth every dime!