I probably should have written before now and I apologize. It is funny, someone asked me today how I am and how things are going and then apologized for asking because everyone is probably asking the same question, or are afraid to ask. Good news on several fronts, I am ok, things are going slowly, and there is no need to feel bad for asking. I will be honest, I have felt better! I decided it must be because we always ask each other how we are doing and most of the time we expect the same response from people. We are fine. I think since people know I am not fine, they are afraid to ask! I may not be "fine", but I'm alive and I am recovering, and I can not ask for more than that!
I have found it refreshing that there are so many ways that I have been blessed by this whole ordeal! It's hard to believe that it has been so easy to see how God is good through this. And at the same time I can see how someone who does not know God could see this in a very negative way. I mean I am 35 and I did have a stoke, 2 dissected arteries, and a long atrial fibrillation episode on my birthday. However, so many people have come around us and provided us with meals, and prayed for us. I have gotten so many cards from people and had friends come and sit with me! My Dad was able to come and be with me during the day and help get housework done and get me food!
I have also found it ironic that this happened while we are in a series about the book of Job at church and I was in the middle of a Bible Study by Priscilla Shirer called, "Discerning the Voice of God". I had been asking God to help me slow down so that I may hear Him more clearly. I guess He needed me to come to a screeching halt!!
Since many are afraid to ask us about how the adoption is going, I will tell you! We are still in the home study process. We got our application turned in and are waiting for our first appointment with our social worker. We are still about 8-10 months out from bringing her home so I have plenty of time to recover!
"You are no different than Job or the Disciples, in that, God will only allow those things which He knows will bring you closer to Him, give Him the glory, and make your heart more like His. It is imperative to truly understand that God will never give you more than you can withstand, and He will always make a way through your storms when you trust in Him."
-Cherie Hill, "Waiting on God"
A bump in the road...
I had every intention of posting great news on Monday night. I was going to mail in our now completed application and fee to Lutheran Social Services and begin to move forward with our home study. God had a different plan and I trust in Him to make this all work still.
I ended up having a stroke. My vertebral arteries dissected and I went into atrial fibrillation for several hours. It was what I was always afraid would happen, as I have had a lot of neck pain and never felt "quite right". However, until the big event happens it is hard to explain to a doctor what doesn't feel "quite right". At my age, it always gets written off as the least severe of all the options until proven otherwise. I don't know if it could have been prevented, and now it doesn't really matter.
I am going to keep pursuing N as I was before. She has so much hope with us and the doctors don't feel like my life will be cut short because of it. It just needs treated correctly. I lost no motor function and I have no numbness anywhere. I can remember as much as I did before and I don't have any trouble following a conversation!
I know, and have complete faith, that what is meant to be, will work out in Gods perfect timing. My job is to get better and get the applications mailed out! We have such a long wait ahead of us anyway, that I have plenty of time to make myself better than I was before:)
I am so grateful to all the friends and family that has reached out to us! You are all so very nice! I will update again as soon as we get our home study going!
Thanks again everyone!
I ended up having a stroke. My vertebral arteries dissected and I went into atrial fibrillation for several hours. It was what I was always afraid would happen, as I have had a lot of neck pain and never felt "quite right". However, until the big event happens it is hard to explain to a doctor what doesn't feel "quite right". At my age, it always gets written off as the least severe of all the options until proven otherwise. I don't know if it could have been prevented, and now it doesn't really matter.
I am going to keep pursuing N as I was before. She has so much hope with us and the doctors don't feel like my life will be cut short because of it. It just needs treated correctly. I lost no motor function and I have no numbness anywhere. I can remember as much as I did before and I don't have any trouble following a conversation!
I know, and have complete faith, that what is meant to be, will work out in Gods perfect timing. My job is to get better and get the applications mailed out! We have such a long wait ahead of us anyway, that I have plenty of time to make myself better than I was before:)
I am so grateful to all the friends and family that has reached out to us! You are all so very nice! I will update again as soon as we get our home study going!
Thanks again everyone!
WE GOT "ANNIE" (Natty??) (LOL)
Maybe I am the only one that had every line of the Annie movie memorized as a child!
It is so hard to remember this verse sometimes. But when you are walking a journey solely based on faith you find out, that this is all you have. Faith that God is going to bring this together in His perfect timing. There will be bumps along the way and there will also be smooth sailing. I have faith, that if I let God lead, and I merely follow Him, this will all fall into place! Without human driven anxiety!!!
Today we got great news... We have been officially matched by the B government with our N!!!!! It might be a little more exciting with actual names, but oh well. Eventually we wont't have to worry about it! We will be setting up some fundraising things soon, so you can help us get N home as fast as possible!!!
Our vacation is over, it was great, if not a little empty, knowing that she was out there, in an orphanage, alone, while we had a great time in the sun! And a little strange knowing that this was most likely our last big vacation that she was not a part of.
Matt and I were also imaging what our next trip will be like, to Europe, to meet her. Then back again! I still can't imagine what that will be like. To meet a child that has been on this earth for over 2 years that I have not met, that I can call my daughter! That is an incredible thing, and as I have been shown, even though I never knew, God did... and that is good!
Oh and about the post title, I LOVED the movie Annie when I was growing up (and still!) so when I got the email today, that we were official, that song from the movie started playing in my head (on repeat) LOL
Be still and know that I am God.Psalm 46:10
It is so hard to remember this verse sometimes. But when you are walking a journey solely based on faith you find out, that this is all you have. Faith that God is going to bring this together in His perfect timing. There will be bumps along the way and there will also be smooth sailing. I have faith, that if I let God lead, and I merely follow Him, this will all fall into place! Without human driven anxiety!!!
Today we got great news... We have been officially matched by the B government with our N!!!!! It might be a little more exciting with actual names, but oh well. Eventually we wont't have to worry about it! We will be setting up some fundraising things soon, so you can help us get N home as fast as possible!!!
Our vacation is over, it was great, if not a little empty, knowing that she was out there, in an orphanage, alone, while we had a great time in the sun! And a little strange knowing that this was most likely our last big vacation that she was not a part of.
Matt and I were also imaging what our next trip will be like, to Europe, to meet her. Then back again! I still can't imagine what that will be like. To meet a child that has been on this earth for over 2 years that I have not met, that I can call my daughter! That is an incredible thing, and as I have been shown, even though I never knew, God did... and that is good!
Oh and about the post title, I LOVED the movie Annie when I was growing up (and still!) so when I got the email today, that we were official, that song from the movie started playing in my head (on repeat) LOL
Vacation day 1
I get so excited when I think about our vacation. Not because I am so happy to feel, and see, some sunshine, but because I know this may be our last year of vacation without N.
I had the best experience yesterday. I had been feeling pretty guilty that we would be on vacation on Easter Sunday. So, I took the girls over to Pathway for the "Prayer Experience" they out together. First of all, the one for children was perfect and it melted my heart to see Caroline understand it and take time to quietly pray to God. She told me many of her prayers were for N!
It was totally worth it for me also. I realized there are times that I feel broken. And asking God for forgiveness and giving him praise for His grace is so healing! Do we not all have pieces of ourselves that are not worthy of Gods love? Isn't it amazing to know Jesus died so that we may be worthy anyway, if only we believe? I am so comforted in that. I saw this online and love it. I wish I could give credit to who made it, but I do not know!
I had the best experience yesterday. I had been feeling pretty guilty that we would be on vacation on Easter Sunday. So, I took the girls over to Pathway for the "Prayer Experience" they out together. First of all, the one for children was perfect and it melted my heart to see Caroline understand it and take time to quietly pray to God. She told me many of her prayers were for N!
It was totally worth it for me also. I realized there are times that I feel broken. And asking God for forgiveness and giving him praise for His grace is so healing! Do we not all have pieces of ourselves that are not worthy of Gods love? Isn't it amazing to know Jesus died so that we may be worthy anyway, if only we believe? I am so comforted in that. I saw this online and love it. I wish I could give credit to who made it, but I do not know!
Family, friends, fun.... Something missing
This was a great weekend! I don't remember the last time we had a weekend with no kids and just got to enjoy each other, our friends, and our family! I do love doing things with the kids, but now and then it is fun to have adult time, and I am so great full that my cousin, Tony, provided us with a great excuse to get out of town and have a wonderful time while attending his wedding! The food was beyond comparison, as he had some of the best chefs in the Midwest preparing it! Seeing my family all together was priceless. And getting to shop put the icing on the cake!!!
My weekend started out at dinner with my best friend, Niki! We enjoyed an awesome evening and got some time to catch up and talk! I do hope she will be able to help me as I start getting the house ready for N to come home!
I tried so hard this weekend not to think too much about our adoption journey, only to hand it to God when I was thinking about it. I just have to keep telling myself, "in His timing, in His timing". But this week dragged on, as far as any real progress goes. Actually, the last 2 weeks have been dragging. I've almost got our packet filled out for the social worker. I just need medical evaluations for all of us. And I need to double check that N will be covered on our insurance as soon as the adoption is finalized.
If the snow isn't too bad I will hit the ground running tomorrow!
Here is a picture of me, my Grandma Dee, Jayme (SIL), and Mitchel (my cousin) at the wedding. We were getting ready to go in the photo booth!
My weekend started out at dinner with my best friend, Niki! We enjoyed an awesome evening and got some time to catch up and talk! I do hope she will be able to help me as I start getting the house ready for N to come home!
I tried so hard this weekend not to think too much about our adoption journey, only to hand it to God when I was thinking about it. I just have to keep telling myself, "in His timing, in His timing". But this week dragged on, as far as any real progress goes. Actually, the last 2 weeks have been dragging. I've almost got our packet filled out for the social worker. I just need medical evaluations for all of us. And I need to double check that N will be covered on our insurance as soon as the adoption is finalized.
If the snow isn't too bad I will hit the ground running tomorrow!
Here is a picture of me, my Grandma Dee, Jayme (SIL), and Mitchel (my cousin) at the wedding. We were getting ready to go in the photo booth!
Let the clock begin
Today, I FINALLY got the application in that will officially put Natalie "On Hold" for us! I am so relieved to have that done. The process of completing it wasn't without testing my patience though! I do hope that we are able to have a somewhat timely Home Study done. But, if it continues as it has started... well, I will be praying for patience to remember that this will happen in God's time!
Sometimes it is so hard to imagine that she is just out there, doing her thing everyday at the orphanage, completely oblivious to the fact that she has a family that is so excited to have her and love her! I am reading a great book call The Connected Child, by Dr Karyn Purvis, Ph. D. I also have the study guide that is Christian based and it is extremely good, and a little more interactive!! I hope that it will prepare me for the challenges of her connecting to us and adjusting to life outside of the orphanage! It probably will also make me a better parent to my biological kids by the time all is said and done!
God is bringing some amazing people into my life and I can't wait to learn from them. Parents that already have daughters with Down Syndrome, and can give lots of realistic advice that books may not be able to touch.
I just got done studying the book of James and there were so many passages that stuck out to me, but here is one that I will need to remember more often than not for awhile...
James 5:11
"As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy."
http://www.DSANI.org
Sometimes it is so hard to imagine that she is just out there, doing her thing everyday at the orphanage, completely oblivious to the fact that she has a family that is so excited to have her and love her! I am reading a great book call The Connected Child, by Dr Karyn Purvis, Ph. D. I also have the study guide that is Christian based and it is extremely good, and a little more interactive!! I hope that it will prepare me for the challenges of her connecting to us and adjusting to life outside of the orphanage! It probably will also make me a better parent to my biological kids by the time all is said and done!
God is bringing some amazing people into my life and I can't wait to learn from them. Parents that already have daughters with Down Syndrome, and can give lots of realistic advice that books may not be able to touch.
I just got done studying the book of James and there were so many passages that stuck out to me, but here is one that I will need to remember more often than not for awhile...
James 5:11
"As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy."
http://www.DSANI.org
And wait....
I can't promise to write on here very often, when there is nothing new to report. We are currently waiting for Lutheran Social Services to mail us the packet we need to get our home study done. I am so nervous, I mean just the name "home study" sounds intimidating! However, I have been reassured by many that it is not as bad as it sounds! Besides it will bring us one step closer to bringing N home!
I was so happy today to share our story in my Bible study group! They are such strong and supportive women! I know I will need the strength of the word of God to get me through, not only the initial process, but more importantly, through the adjustment period and beyond. It is my view that if God has brought us to this journey that He will see us through it and not forsake us! I am not saying everything will all go perfectly, but I know God is gracious if I listen to him!
I am also glad that most everyone knows what we are up to. I'm not too good at hiding things and I am so excited that I want to be able to talk about it! I am glad that the girls are so excited. We pray for the process and for N with them! I have been asked what will happen if this all goes wrong for some reason and N's adoption doesn't through? I believe we are in this as a family, kids included! If we get our hearts broken, then we will all fight through it together. This is as much of a learning experience for them as it is for us!
I will probably post again in a couple of days!
I was so happy today to share our story in my Bible study group! They are such strong and supportive women! I know I will need the strength of the word of God to get me through, not only the initial process, but more importantly, through the adjustment period and beyond. It is my view that if God has brought us to this journey that He will see us through it and not forsake us! I am not saying everything will all go perfectly, but I know God is gracious if I listen to him!
I am also glad that most everyone knows what we are up to. I'm not too good at hiding things and I am so excited that I want to be able to talk about it! I am glad that the girls are so excited. We pray for the process and for N with them! I have been asked what will happen if this all goes wrong for some reason and N's adoption doesn't through? I believe we are in this as a family, kids included! If we get our hearts broken, then we will all fight through it together. This is as much of a learning experience for them as it is for us!
I will probably post again in a couple of days!
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