Patient Impatience
There is the oxymoron of the year!! I spend so much time praying for patience, sometimes it almost seems trivial. In the end, I just want N here ASAP!! As I watch friends and family having their babies in 9 months it hardly seems fair that we have to wait over a year for a baby we chose in February!!! But, so is the adoption journey. God has perfect timing, right? I must tell myself that 500 times a day. It keeps me at peace for awhile, them I see a small child, or even worse a small Down Syndome child and the excitement gets the better of me again. I usually try to put a verse with my post, but I am on my phone and I keep losing the post of I go out of the app, so I will include a verse next time!!! As Jesus told us to do, "Protect the Fatherless and the Widows."
Adoption is no accident...
But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children. And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “Abba, Father.” Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir. (Galatians 4:4-7 NLT)
This verse was brought up by Beth Moore in a study I am doing right now and it has been ringing through my ears (along with that stupid fox song), ever since she talked about it. Her comment was basically that God chose us and adopted us into His family by sending Jesus to die on the cross and forgive our sins. God CHOSE us to be his children. He ADOPTED us into His family for His good. To be His heir. Many women say they became pregnant "by accident", but has anyone ever adopted "by accident"? I am pretty confident that the answer is no. This is not a process for the faint of heart. Every aspect of your life is documented and closely examined. You have to open up your feelings, your story in Christ, your home to judgement as to whether you can parent another child. We are so blessed with family, friends, and a church that has vouched for us, that we are capable to love another child (with special needs even!). I praise God for all the signs and for the courage to go through with all this!
We are getting so close to our first trip. I just found out our Dossier (packet of applications) has been sent to B!!!! All we need is for them to get it, approve it, and give us a travel date to go see her!!! It is surreal to think how close we are! I have relied on God to keep me patient and I will continue, but I am so excited to meet this little girl I have been staring at pictures of for almost 8 months!
Please keep prayers coming for us, especially financially, as this is getting expensive!! She is well worth every dime!
So here we wait
I have been negligent of my blog because it seems to me there has been nothing to write. Here we are three months later and we are pretty much in the same spot. Not our fault. Our social worker was surprised at how difficult the wording is for a B Home Study. So she is going back and forth with our agency and getting it perfect so that there will be no problems when we send the finalized copy to B. It is frustrating, since we have done our part and there is nothing we can do, or turn in, to make this go faster. My best uneducated guess is that we are within two months of going to visit and then will go back to pick her up, as our daughter (officially), in about 6 months. That seems forever.
I know I have said so many times how God has brought people into our lives just for N and I have another story on that premise. We live in a small neighborhood of about thirty houses. And in a huge school district of which I am pretty involved. I was helping at registration when a lady came up with a stroller and a baby boy inside that clearly has DS! Of course I inquired about him!! I thought, how great to know that someone in the school would also have a DS child starting a little behind N!! Well, as it turns out the Mom, Lisa, is also a speech therapist, even better!!! After we exchanged info I got back to my job! A couple minutes later as I was running around my neighbor stopped me and said, "Hey, I want to introduce you to our new neighbors." You get one guess who it was....
God is good, and He will not lead you blindly, He will not forsake you, He will give you everything you need when you follow His call.....
Bless you all friends!!!
I know I have said so many times how God has brought people into our lives just for N and I have another story on that premise. We live in a small neighborhood of about thirty houses. And in a huge school district of which I am pretty involved. I was helping at registration when a lady came up with a stroller and a baby boy inside that clearly has DS! Of course I inquired about him!! I thought, how great to know that someone in the school would also have a DS child starting a little behind N!! Well, as it turns out the Mom, Lisa, is also a speech therapist, even better!!! After we exchanged info I got back to my job! A couple minutes later as I was running around my neighbor stopped me and said, "Hey, I want to introduce you to our new neighbors." You get one guess who it was....
God is good, and He will not lead you blindly, He will not forsake you, He will give you everything you need when you follow His call.....
Bless you all friends!!!
Graciousness
For those of you following me I apologize for not posting in so long. As for me, since last post I had another stroke, had 2 angiograms, had a stent put into my right Vertebral Artery. Plus started speech and physical therapy. The outpouring of support for getting me better has been unbelievable. It truly makes me speechless to think of all the time given, meals made, and cards sent wishing me well! God has had His hand in all this and as unbelievable as it sounds I am thankful for it!!!
James 1:4-6 says, " Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."
In saying that, I tell you that I still pray God will help us bring N home! And I have never for a second doubted that with His gracious help she will be here. It is very hard to be patient, and it is very hard to slow our busy lives down. God allowed for mine to come to a sudden halt, not to punish me, but to help me see more clearly what he needs me to do. I also see patience in a different way. I will not heal from my strokes overnight. It will take the same patience as waiting to bring N home. I have to work hard at both things to make them happen! So Let's Go! LOL
James 1:4-6 says, " Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."
In saying that, I tell you that I still pray God will help us bring N home! And I have never for a second doubted that with His gracious help she will be here. It is very hard to be patient, and it is very hard to slow our busy lives down. God allowed for mine to come to a sudden halt, not to punish me, but to help me see more clearly what he needs me to do. I also see patience in a different way. I will not heal from my strokes overnight. It will take the same patience as waiting to bring N home. I have to work hard at both things to make them happen! So Let's Go! LOL
Over the hump
I probably should have written before now and I apologize. It is funny, someone asked me today how I am and how things are going and then apologized for asking because everyone is probably asking the same question, or are afraid to ask. Good news on several fronts, I am ok, things are going slowly, and there is no need to feel bad for asking. I will be honest, I have felt better! I decided it must be because we always ask each other how we are doing and most of the time we expect the same response from people. We are fine. I think since people know I am not fine, they are afraid to ask! I may not be "fine", but I'm alive and I am recovering, and I can not ask for more than that!
I have found it refreshing that there are so many ways that I have been blessed by this whole ordeal! It's hard to believe that it has been so easy to see how God is good through this. And at the same time I can see how someone who does not know God could see this in a very negative way. I mean I am 35 and I did have a stoke, 2 dissected arteries, and a long atrial fibrillation episode on my birthday. However, so many people have come around us and provided us with meals, and prayed for us. I have gotten so many cards from people and had friends come and sit with me! My Dad was able to come and be with me during the day and help get housework done and get me food!
I have also found it ironic that this happened while we are in a series about the book of Job at church and I was in the middle of a Bible Study by Priscilla Shirer called, "Discerning the Voice of God". I had been asking God to help me slow down so that I may hear Him more clearly. I guess He needed me to come to a screeching halt!!
Since many are afraid to ask us about how the adoption is going, I will tell you! We are still in the home study process. We got our application turned in and are waiting for our first appointment with our social worker. We are still about 8-10 months out from bringing her home so I have plenty of time to recover!
"You are no different than Job or the Disciples, in that, God will only allow those things which He knows will bring you closer to Him, give Him the glory, and make your heart more like His. It is imperative to truly understand that God will never give you more than you can withstand, and He will always make a way through your storms when you trust in Him."
-Cherie Hill, "Waiting on God"
I have found it refreshing that there are so many ways that I have been blessed by this whole ordeal! It's hard to believe that it has been so easy to see how God is good through this. And at the same time I can see how someone who does not know God could see this in a very negative way. I mean I am 35 and I did have a stoke, 2 dissected arteries, and a long atrial fibrillation episode on my birthday. However, so many people have come around us and provided us with meals, and prayed for us. I have gotten so many cards from people and had friends come and sit with me! My Dad was able to come and be with me during the day and help get housework done and get me food!
I have also found it ironic that this happened while we are in a series about the book of Job at church and I was in the middle of a Bible Study by Priscilla Shirer called, "Discerning the Voice of God". I had been asking God to help me slow down so that I may hear Him more clearly. I guess He needed me to come to a screeching halt!!
Since many are afraid to ask us about how the adoption is going, I will tell you! We are still in the home study process. We got our application turned in and are waiting for our first appointment with our social worker. We are still about 8-10 months out from bringing her home so I have plenty of time to recover!
"You are no different than Job or the Disciples, in that, God will only allow those things which He knows will bring you closer to Him, give Him the glory, and make your heart more like His. It is imperative to truly understand that God will never give you more than you can withstand, and He will always make a way through your storms when you trust in Him."
-Cherie Hill, "Waiting on God"
A bump in the road...
I had every intention of posting great news on Monday night. I was going to mail in our now completed application and fee to Lutheran Social Services and begin to move forward with our home study. God had a different plan and I trust in Him to make this all work still.
I ended up having a stroke. My vertebral arteries dissected and I went into atrial fibrillation for several hours. It was what I was always afraid would happen, as I have had a lot of neck pain and never felt "quite right". However, until the big event happens it is hard to explain to a doctor what doesn't feel "quite right". At my age, it always gets written off as the least severe of all the options until proven otherwise. I don't know if it could have been prevented, and now it doesn't really matter.
I am going to keep pursuing N as I was before. She has so much hope with us and the doctors don't feel like my life will be cut short because of it. It just needs treated correctly. I lost no motor function and I have no numbness anywhere. I can remember as much as I did before and I don't have any trouble following a conversation!
I know, and have complete faith, that what is meant to be, will work out in Gods perfect timing. My job is to get better and get the applications mailed out! We have such a long wait ahead of us anyway, that I have plenty of time to make myself better than I was before:)
I am so grateful to all the friends and family that has reached out to us! You are all so very nice! I will update again as soon as we get our home study going!
Thanks again everyone!
I ended up having a stroke. My vertebral arteries dissected and I went into atrial fibrillation for several hours. It was what I was always afraid would happen, as I have had a lot of neck pain and never felt "quite right". However, until the big event happens it is hard to explain to a doctor what doesn't feel "quite right". At my age, it always gets written off as the least severe of all the options until proven otherwise. I don't know if it could have been prevented, and now it doesn't really matter.
I am going to keep pursuing N as I was before. She has so much hope with us and the doctors don't feel like my life will be cut short because of it. It just needs treated correctly. I lost no motor function and I have no numbness anywhere. I can remember as much as I did before and I don't have any trouble following a conversation!
I know, and have complete faith, that what is meant to be, will work out in Gods perfect timing. My job is to get better and get the applications mailed out! We have such a long wait ahead of us anyway, that I have plenty of time to make myself better than I was before:)
I am so grateful to all the friends and family that has reached out to us! You are all so very nice! I will update again as soon as we get our home study going!
Thanks again everyone!
WE GOT "ANNIE" (Natty??) (LOL)
Maybe I am the only one that had every line of the Annie movie memorized as a child!
It is so hard to remember this verse sometimes. But when you are walking a journey solely based on faith you find out, that this is all you have. Faith that God is going to bring this together in His perfect timing. There will be bumps along the way and there will also be smooth sailing. I have faith, that if I let God lead, and I merely follow Him, this will all fall into place! Without human driven anxiety!!!
Today we got great news... We have been officially matched by the B government with our N!!!!! It might be a little more exciting with actual names, but oh well. Eventually we wont't have to worry about it! We will be setting up some fundraising things soon, so you can help us get N home as fast as possible!!!
Our vacation is over, it was great, if not a little empty, knowing that she was out there, in an orphanage, alone, while we had a great time in the sun! And a little strange knowing that this was most likely our last big vacation that she was not a part of.
Matt and I were also imaging what our next trip will be like, to Europe, to meet her. Then back again! I still can't imagine what that will be like. To meet a child that has been on this earth for over 2 years that I have not met, that I can call my daughter! That is an incredible thing, and as I have been shown, even though I never knew, God did... and that is good!
Oh and about the post title, I LOVED the movie Annie when I was growing up (and still!) so when I got the email today, that we were official, that song from the movie started playing in my head (on repeat) LOL
Be still and know that I am God.Psalm 46:10
It is so hard to remember this verse sometimes. But when you are walking a journey solely based on faith you find out, that this is all you have. Faith that God is going to bring this together in His perfect timing. There will be bumps along the way and there will also be smooth sailing. I have faith, that if I let God lead, and I merely follow Him, this will all fall into place! Without human driven anxiety!!!
Today we got great news... We have been officially matched by the B government with our N!!!!! It might be a little more exciting with actual names, but oh well. Eventually we wont't have to worry about it! We will be setting up some fundraising things soon, so you can help us get N home as fast as possible!!!
Our vacation is over, it was great, if not a little empty, knowing that she was out there, in an orphanage, alone, while we had a great time in the sun! And a little strange knowing that this was most likely our last big vacation that she was not a part of.
Matt and I were also imaging what our next trip will be like, to Europe, to meet her. Then back again! I still can't imagine what that will be like. To meet a child that has been on this earth for over 2 years that I have not met, that I can call my daughter! That is an incredible thing, and as I have been shown, even though I never knew, God did... and that is good!
Oh and about the post title, I LOVED the movie Annie when I was growing up (and still!) so when I got the email today, that we were official, that song from the movie started playing in my head (on repeat) LOL
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)